To consider adoption for your child is a very big step and a very hard decision. You have to understand that you will not be raising your child and there are a lot of sad feelings that will accompany this decision.

However, there can also be a lot of good feelings. Adoption is a very loving and unselfish act. You are giving your child life and giving that life to a family that probably cannot birth children. It is a huge sacrifice on your part for the benefit of that child and that family. You will also be able to continue your life or even change your life to a better standard. It takes serious consideration of the needs of both you and your child and your particular situation.

Adoptions today are very different than years ago. You now have the option of choosing the couple that you want to raise the child. You can look at profiles and even get to meet them face to face, and get to know each other. There are various degrees of openness and you will want to think carefully about where your comfort level is. Some choose a couple that wants to get together periodically as the child grows. Others choose a family that they will never meet face to face, but will exchange pictures and letters with for many years. And there are those that may still choose to do a closed adoption where they will not meet and will not exchange pictures and letters. You will want to choose a family that has the same feelings about this as you do so you or they won’t be disappointed later that things didn't go as planned. Remember, adoption is the transfer of the legal responsibility for the child to a new family. This is not co-parenting. You will not have any legal rights after the adoption, and will not have a voice in decisions made for your child.

Adoptions may help you financially. An adoptive couple can be asked to help with living expenses during part of your pregnancy. They may also pay for medical bills for you and the baby. They pay for all of the legal expenses. However, you do not make an adoption decision based on money. There are other ways to provide for your child if you decide you need help raising your child. If you decide to parent those medical and hospital bills for you and the baby become your responsibility.

You will be asked to name the father of your child. If you do not know, or there are two or more possibilities, a caseworker will help explain the laws to you. In Illinois, his parental rights are terminated by his signature on a paternity denial, surrender of rights, or through the courts at the appropriate time. If you, or the father, are in another state there are procedures to follow to terminate parental rights.

You have the opportunity to spend time with your baby at the hospital. You are the legal parent of the child at this time and it is your opportunity to hold your child and care for him/her for a while to be sure that you want to continue your adoption plan. It is also the opportunity for you and your immediate family to say good-bye to the child. You may want to give your child a birth name and a keepsake.

You are not alone. There is a caseworker that can take the birth parents and their families through a decision making process to help you decide how you can best meet the responsibilities you are now facing. It may be the right decision for you, but it may also not be. Contact us today at 1-800-274-0113 to make an appointment. There is no obligation to continue working with ICM, but we will be glad to answer your questions.

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